Don't shut me out
by Marvel-comic-girl
Summary: This is set after CATWS . Natasha has only known to push people out, don't let them see your weakness. But when a certain guy comes knocking on her door will she let him in?


**Spoilers if you haven't seen Captain America 2.**

* * *

It was supposed to be an easy mission. (Was it a mission? Really it was something I agreed to do for Fury.) S.H.I.E.L.D. was gone, Nick Fury was no longer my boss and yet I was still doing things for him.

It started off with this guy I had to get the information from but he decided to make things more complicated for me.

How I ended up in an alley getting beat up by 6 men, I wasn't sure. I couldn't even recall how I ended up here.

I was too busy trying to get that little stupid flash drive out of the man's chubby fingers I forgot to notice where we were going.

With everything that's happened I knew I would make a slip up and this would surely cost me.

The man's hands had roamed my body the entire night, I was sure he was going to take us to a cheap hotel to have a quick fuck.

Instead he took lead me to an alley and slammed me into a brick wall.

Just when I thought nothing else could go wrong 5 more heads popped out of nowhere.

All at once they attack me.

They start punching, kicking, they even brought out a knife and one of them pulls my hair yelling at the others to do something.

Two of them hold down my arms while the other two hold my legs.

Leaving the man, who I was trying to get the flash drive from, to pull down my pants.

I mentally sighed. I had really hoped I could get this done without having to spill any blood.

I head butt the one closest to me and my arm becomes free.

I quickly pull out my hidden knife and slash the throat of the one holding my other arm.

_Drip, Drip._

The two holding my legs quickly stand up and I throw the knife to one of the guys neck.

_Drip, Drip._

I run toward the other guy and put my thighs around his neck, instantly breaking it.

_Drip, Drip._

I feel the coldness of a gun on the back of my head and slowly turn around.

"I know what you want, but we can make this a little interesting can't we?"

I nod my head and eye the gun which is aimed at my heart.

"Why don't we finish what we were about to do before you brought out that little knife."

I hid the disgust on my face and slowly push the gun out of the way bringing us closer.

I step in front of him and bring my hands to his head.

I bring my head closer to his and he smirks thinking he is getting his way.

My hands swish to one side and Crack. He falls to ground, all the life leaving his eyes.

_Drip, Drip. _

_Just more red to fill the overflowing red sea of my ledger. _

_Loki was right about one thing, I would never be able to wipe out all the red in my ledger._

I grab the flash drive off the floor and run my fingers through my hair.

It was no longer my natural red color, it had been dyed to a bright honey blonde color.

It was one of the many things I had to change so I wouldn't be recognized.

I start to walk to my safe house pulling the hood of my jacket over my head.

It had been a 7 months since S.H.I.E.L.D. demise and I had been helping Fury for a 6 month now.

So many things had happened and I thought I could walk away from it, start off a normal life.

However when some enemies of S.H.I.E.L.D. recognized and tried to kill me, I knew I could never live a normal life.

So that is when I decided to do good and join Fury.

I wanted to know how Clint was doing but I knew it was better to keep my distance.

After the whole Loki incident as much as it hurts me to say this we had grown apart.

I blamed myself for it, He was always there for me when I need him most and I couldn't be there for him when he needed me.

I had hoped maybe that he would realize that I understood what he was going through.

I knew what it felt like to be unmade, not once, not even twice, it had been too many times to keep count.

So I waited for him but soon days turned into weeks and weeks into months.

I had given up any hope by then.

I knew there was no going back to the friendship we once had.

Then there was Steve.

I couldn't deny it, I had a crush on Captain America.

I don't know when exactly this happened, he kind of crept up on me.

During the whole Hydra deal I pushed my feelings away, I was made to be a weapon and weapons don't have feelings.

Even if he somehow liked me, I didn't deserve him.

Anyway Love is for children, No Love is for the innocent, the pure.

I tried to get him to go out with all these women, He deserved happiness, but he declined to all of my offers.

I hoped where ever he was that he was safe.

I knew Sam would keep him safe but I still worried for him.

I open the door and quickly pull out my gun.

It was dark but I could still feel the presence of another person in the room.

"It's okay Nat it's just me."

I lower my gun and turn on the lights.

"Dang it Steve didn't anyone tell you it's not good to sneak up on a spy."

He didn't answer me just continues to stare at me. "What happened to you?"

I couldn't tell if he was asking about my new appearance or the injuries I got from today.

I try not to limp and lay down on one of the couches.

"When all of your covers are blown you have to make a new one."

"I'm not talking about that, Nat you're head is bleeding."

He quickly grabs a cloth and puts it on my head.

"It's okay Steve I honestly didn't realize I was hurt."

His ocean blue eyes are filled with worry and I can't help but feel a little guilty.

"What happened to your red hair and your green eyes?"

I pull out my brown contacts to reveal my emerald green eyes.

"There just contacts and I dyed my hair. It's good to keep low when everyone around you wants you dead."

He frowns and I ask "How did you even find me?"

"I asked Fury. He was a lot more easier to locate than Bucky."

I sit up and say "Did you find him?"

He shakes his head No and says "I have no idea where he is. I know this is asking a lot from you but Sam and I could really use some help."

I sigh and say "You really want to find him, don't you?"

He nods and says "I just need to know what happened, what made him like this."

"Okay I'll help you Steve."

He smiles and says "What happened to you Nat, you look like you've just been run over by a car."

I roll my eyes and say "Well you sure know how to make a lady feel special."

He blushes and says "Sorry but you really look hurt."

I needed to get him out of here fast.

My blouse had somehow been ripped during the fight and I had gotten a knife wound on my leg.

The only thing separating Steve from seeing this was a thin hoodie that I had found on my way here.

I brush him off and say "I'm fine Steve. You should go home and rest because you look tired."

"I'm being serious Natasha what happened?"

"It's nothing I couldn't handle, I'm fine."

"No your not, let me help you."

I quickly got up ignoring the pain coming from my leg.

"Go home Steve I'm okay."

He stands his ground and says "I'm not going Natasha unless you tell me what happened."

I hated looking weak and all my instincts were telling me to block him out.

I was the Black Widow I didn't show weakness.

"I'm fine Steve honestly."

"Don't lie to me."

My vision was blurry and everything was dizzy.

I grab a hold of the couch desperately trying to get a hold of the situation.

"Natasha what's wrong?"

My legs gave in and everything went black.

* * *

I open my eyes and find a worried looking Steve staring at me.

"Thank goodness you're okay. Please don't ever do that to me again."

I blink a couple of times and check my surroundings.

I was now in my room and my leg was now bandaged.

"I stitched you up, you lost a lot of blood so you fainted."

I nodded embarrassed that Steve had to help me.

"Natasha why didn't you tell me? If I had left you could of died!"

I shrug my shoulders and avoid any eye contact with him.

"Say something Nat."

"What is there to say?"

"Don't do this Natasha. Don't put your walls up. Everytime I think were getting closer you take three steps back. Why can't you trust me?"

I say quietly "I trust you Steve."

He laughs bitterly and says "I don't know anymore because you really have a funny way of showing it. Do you even know what trust is?"

I flinch slightly. That hurt, it hurt so much more than it should have.

We sit in silence until I say "You should probably go."

He looks at me with disbelief and slams his fist onto the desk table.

The action startles me and makes me jump.

"No I am not leaving. Gosh, can't you see you don't have to shut me out. You don't have to act strong around me Natasha. You may be the Black Widow but you're only human."

He groans and pulls his hair in frustration. "Why can't you see…I just…..."

"What can't I see Steve?"

All of a sudden his lips were on mine.

I blink, I had to be dreaming.

Maybe I was still knocked out.

He pulls away and leans his forehead on mine.

Okay this is real.

"I care about you so much Natasha, the only reason I came here because I was crazy worried for you."

"But what about Bucky?"

"I gave up looking for Bucky about a month ago it was really just an excuse to see you."

I laugh softly and say "I care about you too Steve, It scares me how much I care about you."

He pulls me into a hug and says "You won't shut me out anymore?"

I shake my head and cuddle into his chest. "No."

* * *

**Thank you for reading my one shot :) I hope you enjoyed it and don't forget to leave a review. Also you should listen to Don't shut me out by Keith Urban. :)**


End file.
